INTERVIEW | Christian Nicolay

CHRISTIAN NICOLAY IN A BOX
UNEXPLAINED

Sometime ago, I met Christian in a cold, damp, possibly danger filled basement, to the sounds of a typewriter… typewriting. Or was it a swamp swamping? Hmmm. Hard to recall, but more interactions followed, including magazine features, unicorn talk and last but not least, memories of Yoda’s privates. He is possibly our most featured artist, but we sincerely don’t know how to count, so you might have to check out issue number Five, Six, Seven, and Nine to figure it out + read this damn interview to know why we just can’t get enough. Do be aware of the side effects. Words can and might just change your life for good, so do not say we didn’t warn you.

The choice is yours alone.

PART I : LIFE
Lexa: Do you think it’s an uncommon or a new thing to be multidisciplinary?
Christian: Nooo.
L: So how do you divide it up in a year? Some people say working on a number of things will distract you, instead of inspire you…
C: I don’t think it’s a new thing at all. I think so many artists over time have had a variety of different processes and worked in a variety of different mediums, especially now with globalization, and cultures merging, having different rituals, acts or mythology. I think it’s maybe just speeding up, but it’s nothing new. We have different access to technology now, like we never used to, and this different type of access allows for the layering and making of more hybrids of traditional processes. Taking multiple forms of traditional ways of mark making and making it unique to yourself in an immediate and spontaneous way, and being able to share it immediately by having a cheap video camera and a YouTube page. And boom, you’ve got video that’s going “out there.” I think that’s multidisciplinary. Even all the things you have to know just to create a little movie and put it on YouTube. And then, if you’re creating all the videos, making the costumes, etc.

I think what’s new, for me, is that there are a lot more people in my life that are doing the same thing and that I can collaborate with, whereas 10 or 15 years ago I wasn’t around that many people doing that. Nowadays, more creatives are open to that idea. The opportunity to work with people from different fields has presented itself later on in my life. It’s not a new idea, but it makes my process new, because now I’m working with this person, and that person, and oh, that person, and that changes my vocabulary. And that’s art, that’s life, that’s beauty, that’s evolution, it’s de-evolution. And that’s why I do it. I love interaction and storytelling.
L: Has it gotten you closer to seeing Yoda’s dick?
C: Yes. Every night I have a dream…

So this would be sort of it, in a nutshell.

The way my studio is set up, is in a circle. The desk is for writing, there’s a work table for sculpture with the drills and saws, and next to it a wall, for drawing. That’s pee break, the bathroom is right there. My piano is across from there, where I have all my other sound stuff, and then my computer for video. It’s all laid out. And then there’s my couch…
L: For sitting?
C: Yeah. And my bed. Windows….
L: Do you ever sleep?
C: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
L: How much?
C: You know, 6 hours a day. I have insomnia a lot. I just sit there and I think. And I think and then I get up, say “Fuck” and then I get tired, and so on. But I’m a good napper. I like to nap. I’ll nap for 25 or 20 minutes, work for 4 hours, nap for 10 minutes. I don’t really sleep, but I sit there, and try to think of nothing.
L: When I was looking for a job recently, they told me I needed to learn how to meditate, because I couldn’t stay still.
C: Yeah, it’s tough when you’ve got all these things on the go, to not think of anything.
L: Is it tougher to NOT think of stuff? Cause I’m more scared of not having stuff in my head. Are you?
C: No, not scared. That’s why I write things down. “Scared” isn’t the right word, but I like to write everything down, because I know I’ll forget, since I’m thinking of too many things and when I’m bed, that’s what happens. I’m thinking way too much, and it’s hard to just picture like…waves. And then all of a sudden there’s the thought of when I carved a sling shot and shot out windows when I was a kid, and then that leads to another thing, and that one to another, and all of a sudden I’m like “Holly fuck, I’m thinking about all these things again…” Put it back to the waves, and it’s just this endless process. Eventually I’m just like: “K, I’m getting up. I’m not sleeping tonight.” But I don’t know, I think I’m alright. I’m alive and I’m productive. And I can still be social in some ways.

A STATEMENT
C: I have been using the axe a lot.
L: Is it some kind of makeup?
C: It’s like a paintbrush.
L: Are you gonna wear AXE deodorant too?
C: No, I’m just not gonna wash for three days.

PART II: TRADE SECRETS + SWEET RELIEF
C: Sometimes I’ll listen to two or three sound sources at the same time. The radio, a CD player and a computer file, all playing sound. And then, sometimes, silence. And they counteract and balance each other out.
L: I’m trying to picture this…
C: No, for sure. I’m gonna go pee pee and give you a moment to reflect.

….

C: I’ve never really gotten those no touch hand dryers. You still have to touch the door on the way out. There’s more shit on there.

…

C: I believe the recorder is still going, and now I am going to draw a thing in Lexa’s notebook, which she may find one day (when/if she is back from the washroom).
….

C: I finished drawing the picture on a random page. There’s so much activity in this place. The waitress is looking at me funny. And I’m talking to a sock.

….

(On that note, I did find the drawing, weeks later and it did surprise me )

PART II.V: PORTOBELLISSIMO
C: Every time I cut portobello mushrooms I like to make sure that it’s chopped in quarters, as well as 3.16 repeating
L: Why?
C: Cause it keeps my mind from things that are dark and twisted.
L: Such as?
C: Oh, god, I don’t know if I wanna go there.
L: Maybe you should.
C: Yeah, maybe I should, but I don’t know if right now is the time.

Where I Lay My Head is Home | Site Specific Lay Downs Around Earth (Ongoing)

PART III: THE MIND EXPLAINED
C: I’ll give you an analogy. Some people like to get on a bus, and know where they’re going. I don’t. Some people like to plan ahead to get to a destination. I like hitchhiking. Always have. Every time I cut food… A lot of folks have this down to a science. “I like my steak this way, I eat it this way.” I just try fucking around with it, like a kid. Although, the irony is that my studio setup, to have that kind of play, has to be so organized, in order to let myself be that free.
L: How long did it take you to get your process figured out, and to get your studio organized in a way that allows you to do all those things at once? Did it happen overnight?
C: No. I’d say it’s still evolving, still changing, still not 100%, but it’s at the point where I have enough… It’s a difficult question. I have to think about that one.
L: How did you start? What did you have before this particular studio? Or maybe before having a studio altogether? How did you do “your thing”?
C: I’d say my dad’s garage.
L: Is your dad an artist?
C: No, no. He just fixed his car. He worked on his car a lot. But I used to go in there, and everything had it’s place. The saw, the screwdriver, the drill press, the vice. And I didn’t know how to fix cars, so I would use all these tools to make other shit when I was really little.
L: Like what?
C: Saw my toy car in half, hook it up to the battery and blow it up. Pour some gasoline on it. Pack of matches. And at the time I’m not thinking of anything except that childhood destruction is fun. But in retrospect, that was making art in a way. And it was honest. And it was spontaneous. So my dad’s workshop was probably a huge influence on me, in terms of setting up tools in an orderly fashion, so that when you spontaneously have this idea of mix and matching, you can go “K, I’ll need this and this.” Just like ingredients in a kitchen. You know where the salt is, you know where the pepper is, you know where the limes are and you know where you keep the bread. And they’re all in different spots, but they’re all within an arm’s reach and working fast has always been something… Keep up with the process of your brain.
L: Is it almost like a journal entry, but doing it?
C: Yeah, sure. And through doing a series of those, there’ll be one that’s really really good and the rest of it is shit.
L: Do you find that to be a waste of energy or does it teach you more?
C: No, cause for me I have to make a bunch of shit to make something good. It’s like taking a roll of film. One out of 26 is a good photo. If you’re lucky. For me anyway. Everyone is different. Some people take a whole roll, and it rocks. But I make a whole lot of garbage in order to get to the good stuff. It’s learning to live with making crap and mistakes, and not giving yourself too much guilt, because if you’re making enough crap and you’re honest and work hard enough at it, the good stuff will come.

Where I Lay My Head is Home

L: When do you know that you hit good stuff?
C: I can’t stop, I get an orgasm.
L: Do you scream?
C: No, no, no. That’s always been something I’ve never been able to answer. It’s just like when you hear a song that you like and you go: “I love that song.” And maybe it’s the lyrics and it’s the harmony, so many other factors, but you immediately just know. And the more you listen to that song and you start dissecting it and realize what those components are. But I think at first glance it’s just magic. It’s magical. You don’t know exactly what all the pieces are, but it just works. It’s like knowing when you’re attracted to someone. You just see them and you’re like “God damn they’re sexy!!” OK, why? And then you can break it down, but it’s an immediate response. It’s an immediate thing, I think it’s something like that maybe.
L: And do you stop or do you keep working on it, once you get to that point?
C: Oh, no. I keep going. I’m like “let’s finish this.”
L: How do you know when you’re finished?
C: I shit my pants.
L: How long do you wear those pants for?
C: Two days.
L: What makes you change those pants? If you didn’t have to go out..
C: The smell. There was something that I thought of, a while ago, that changed my life…When you shit your pants, you take them off.
L: Two days later?
C: Well, sometimes you don’t know you shit your pants.
L: You’re so distracted by your work?
C: But then you realize you shit them yesterday.

PART IV: BECAUZIES
L: A question about evolving…
C: About Oprah Winfrey?
L: And Dr. Phil. How did you know?
C: I still don’t know anything.
L: But you do.
C: I am inspired by so many artists, musicians, writers, uh, designers, street people, doctors. Everybody. Everything. Every child, every…I am flabbergasted. No that’s a stupid word.
L: That’s a great word.
C: Well, I don’t know. I am…I don’t know why I am, or how I think or why I’m interested in the things I’m interested in. I just try to be spontaneous. I’ve always made things, or done things, or collaborated with people. And I’m not just talking art. Helping people out with different tasks, or whatever…just instances. Listening to my instinct, trying to do that, and just trying to be spontaneous. If you think about something, do it if you can. You have to edit out all the things you think about, but you definitely have moments when you’re like “call this person” or “do this” or “make that mark there.” It’s getting more in touch with that spontaneity of being creative, and I don’t know why I like that mode of life, or why that seems to make sense to me or why I feel like I can just be a child with a microphone for the first time. It seems to work. It makes me happy and other people seem to like my stuff, so I just go with it. It’s almost like dropping a glass on the ground. The glass sprays everywhere, and you have no way of knowing what pattern that glass is going to make, but you’re sure that you’ll take the chance to break that glass. You have a thought, you do it. The more I find that I try and conceptualize something, just thinking about making something, the more it turns into a complete fabrication of a feeling or an idea.The things that have always worked best for me, have been those things that I haphazardly didn’t even think about. I’ll just go: “I’m throwing this at this, and I’m shitting on that, and I’m gonna just sew this and then I’m gonna fuck it.” I don’t know, I’m going off on a tangent of nothingness.

PART V: THE MAGNIFICENT SUBFABRICATION OF SPONTANEITY
L: What about your more structured stuff, like the lifesavers (from the Atlantis collection) or cutting out money? Does that start like an impulse and then become more structured?
C: That starts with an impulse and the joining together of random elements in the studio. All of a sudden they go side by side because I’m doing laundry, and I don’t have space, and I have to move things, and you see something side by side. They’ve always been in the same space, but they’ve never been together and you go “Yeah!!”
L: That works?
C: Boom!! And then yeah, some of the stuff is technically monotonous to make, but the genesis for the idea seems to always be spontaneous and immediate, an impulse, random, chance. That’s also part of my process. I throw as much random clutter around me. I like clutter. I like rearranging clutter. Like the other day, I stole a Christmas tree that was on someone’s lawn and I brought it home, and it smelled so good.
L: You are awesome.
C: And it was big… Too big for my space. So I sawed it in half, and I’ve only got one half of it now that I’ve been playing around with.
L: Like literally?
C: No, just using it like a paintbrush or canvas.
L: What are you doing to it?
C: I’ve been putting foam in it. Packing it with foam.
L: On the branches?
C: Yeah, decorating it with foam. And then I put a tube around it and I hung it upside down. I’ve been extracting some of the sap and drawing with it. The needles that have fallen onto the ground, I’ve swept up into a pile. Yeah, just keep working with it. Seeing what it does. See now that’s immediately a bad thing, but it could be a good thing. By the way, Lexa just dropped a half of a snot mushroom looking thing on her sweater.
L: Can you hear (read) it? Should I eat it?
C: It could be a revolutionary act that changes your life forever. That’s how I like to work with things. That stain will forever be in your heart…
L: Forever? This poor shirt. The tree sap. The accidents. I’m wondering, do you ever research stuff in advance or do you research it after you get the idea? Process wise, will you think of something, research and then come up with an idea, or both?  How did you think of the life savers for example?
C: It’s always different. I’ve been doing a lot of stuff like reacting to the Olympics, or the Genesis. Then I started researching a bunch of shit that’s been pissing me off, and then I start making work. But usually the work will still be spontaneous…It’s always different. There is no truth. There is no order. Everyday is something different. And I like that. Maybe I’m schizophrenic, I don’t know.

Floatsam

Atlantis

L: Well, there seems to be a pattern, isn’t there?
C: The pattern is creating. Just making. Like the life preservers and America. I did a lot of research on the constitution. I did a lot of research on the Charter of Rights and Freedoms in Canada, I did a lot of research on flag etiquette. Are you allowed to fuck up flags?
L: Are you?
C: Yes.
L: You are?
C: It’s etiquette, not a law. But then I’ve been messing with currency, and yeah, it is illegal to fuck with currency, but I’m doing it in a way that is for a specific reason, and it’s like the political cartoonists. Or late night television. They got the top ten reasons why Bush is an idiot. There are certain subjects and areas that are tough, and I think it’s good to research them, so you’re not an asshole or an idiot, but I still think it’s fair to have your opinion. And you’ll have a more informed opinion if you research that stuff as much as you can. But in order to research something, it’s almost like being spontaneous and getting the idea on a whim: “Oh, yeah that’s fucking crazy!!”, “What does that really mean?” “What do other people think about that stuff?” and then you start going down the rabbit hole.
L: Some people would say things like “It’s disrespectful to do that to currency” or “Fuck the artists for thinking they can do anything and get away with it.” What do you think about responses like that?
C: I would say, not everybody should pick up a tuba either. But some people do. And, you know what? They probably love it and that’s great. And I’ll listen to it. Will I listen to all of it or wanna keep listening to it? No, maybe not. ‘Cause they fuckin’ suck at tuba. And maybe that’s the way some people feel about my work, because it is questioning religion, specifically Christianity, in a lot of recent work. It’s saying that Christianity is a plagiarism of much older stories. I’ve gotten a lot of slack for that. But based on my research, that’s my opinion, that’s what I believe, that’s what I think and there’s a lot of people out there doing a lot of things, taking a lot of risks, to put certain kinds of information through different lenses, and that’s what art is about. That’s great. And we need that. We need choices, we need variances on opinions, and we need different angles to think of the same thing. I don’t think there’s a lot of “real” topics… There’s love, there’s war, there’s religion, there’s politics… When you deconstruct it, a lot of the things we talk about, are things that have been there forever, and they haven’t changed.

We changed.

And I’m an asshole.

PART VI: AN E-VOLUTION
L: How have we changed though? Is it our language? The way we express ourselves? In what way do you think we’ve changed?
C: Specifically…technology has changed things big time. A hundred years ago, the family used to hang out with the horses, hunt for a lot of their food, cook their food, go to bed, wake up, milk the cows… Communication I think has changed. And how we communicate. That’s a huge step. How we travel has changed dramatically. That’s changed a lot of things. I think also, there have been a lot of people in power for a long time, who have been very greedy in trying to retain their power, and it’s never been more evident than now, because we have this global network of information. People can get across their ideas, their experiences and their perceptions so quickly, so immediately on the global scales. I think the world is learning faster than it’s ever learnt. A hundred, two hundred years ago, for this person to tell this story to another, it would take a long time. “I rode three days uphill, in snow, with no shoes, so me and Uncle Albert could finally talk about that day when I wrestled the camel.” Or when you watch a movie and you go… “Wow, that actress was really good. Who was that?” Google search. Boom. Boom. Boom. You’ve got her whole life right there… The days of encyclopedias and looking up these little things. I think the neural network of being interconnected is changing a lot of things, in the way that we think, and we feel, and we respond. And I’m not saying positive or negative.

L: Can we even know though? If it’s positive or negative? Or if it’s doing anything in particular?
C: Well, it depends whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist. If you’re an optimist, the world continues, and it’s beautiful, and it’s all for the better, because we will evolve and ascend into whatever thing the species does. If you’re a pessimist then it’s all fucked up, and we’re going to hell. I think it’s a little bit of both. It’s your choice to live and attract which polarity you want to attract and repel which one you want to repel and how much in balance you can keep that. And I suck at balancing those worlds. But I sure love thinking about them and living a little bit of both, in paradox.
L: What’s your pessimist side all about?
C: Big brother theories.
L: Why is that pessimistic?
C: Because in a sense, you can’t live… If you believe that things are orchestrated in a way to fuck over humanity, depopulate the world, eradicate people, tell lies, steal money and be in positions of power to fuck over the people of the world. The game of risk, global competition, media… If you think all of that all the time, I don’t think you’ll have a very fun life. And regardless, if I think that that kind of stuff is happening all the time and I’d like to comment on that and try to awaken people to some of those things that you may research, the sun rises. It’s a cloud. It’s fucking beautiful. You look at a tree growing. You look at grass. You look at a spider in the grass. You look at a mushroom growing in the grass with the spider, with a flea…Those are beautiful things to me. Nature. I go back to nature. And even on a rainy day, a car burning through a red light with it’s horn blaring and someone going “Fuck you!” in the right moment with the right lighting, under a certain mood, that can be a beautiful image. It can be a beautiful thing. I think you just have to… Everyone has their own perception of beauty. And for me, if I’m always thinking of negative and gross, crazy things, like the government fucking my ass while I sleep, I’m not gonna see those things that are positive and beautiful.

I think you just have to be open to recognizing the beauty, no matter where you are, and taking a moment to pause, see that puddle with trash in it in the downtown eastside, which might actually have the reflection of a bird flying by at the same time in it, and it’s the moment of that puddle being beautiful. And maybe I wanna share that somehow with someone. Maybe by sewing a bunch of nurse hats.
L: So why share it, why not just go find some remote place with no government?
C: Oh, no, I wanna share it.
L: Why not just go away? Although, I don’t know that there’s anywhere left in the world.
C: Why share it? Because I think it’s important.
L: How so?
C: The tiger doesn’t know that he’s a tiger, I don’t think. I don’t think the bear, or the mosquito know why they are who they are. Or the wolf…
L: Are you a mosquito?
C: Me? I think I’m good at… Everyone is good at certain things, and I think I’m good at… I don’t really know how to say that…or say…Art. Making art. In whatever forms and mediums. You want me to add up some numbers, or find a place on the map, I’m not that way.
L: You’re not my guy?
C: I’m not your man. But give me some pesto, some tofu and a cracked window and maybe I can make you think about Jesus and how it was a plagiarism of an older story. I mean, I don’t know. Once you recognize something and people start telling you that it inspires them, then I think you kinda…That does it for me. That’s why I feel like I have to share. It’s just like when you hang out with your friend, and you share your stories, and you learn from each other. It’s like
“Oh, I’m working on my house and I was using 3/8 stud” and…
“What’s 3/8 stud?”
“Oh, it’s this.”
or
“My car broke down”
“Use a spark plug.”
“What’s a spark plug?”
It’s learning, it’s evolution, and it’s conversing and learning from each other’s lives…

PART VII: IS SHARING CARING?
C: I think it’s in our nature to share. It’s in every animal’s nature to share something. Whether it’s the cat that meets the other cat in the alley and it fucks it and it procreates.
L: Now, I am curious, because we’re talking about positions of power and greed, how is that different? If you are in a position of power…
C: It’s a fine line and it’s very subjective.
L: How would that change your way of sharing? Since you would still do it. If you’re still the tiger…
C: What do you mean?
L: If you’ve changed somehow, obviously your life would be completely different. Like if you were a leopard instead. If you were in position of power and you were in the government and say you got there and it’s probably pretty difficult to get out. Say you’re the president, somewhere like a third world country, or maybe the president of “America.” Say you’re Obama…
C: Well, first of all I’d shave my balls. Because that massive amount of hair is sexy, but I’d trim it up a little bit.
L: Just a little?
C: I mean, I have a big muff…
L: Shaving is not your sharing mode?
C: Let’s say I’m old fashioned.

THE QUESTIONABLE
C: But if I was Obama, hmmm…
L: It doesn’t have to be Obama. Just a position of power, access to resources…
C: I know what you’re saying. It’d be a very different thing and maybe it would change me. I don’t know, but hopefully not. I’d likely be the opposite. I would decrease military spending, and I’d increase cultural activity. The arts, music… I would introduce things in the education system, that would make it less of an institution and more of a free school. Like the things that are happening with some schools in BC, with different types of teaching and learning how to use your imagination. Your imagination is a tool that you can take into any vocation and I think that the imagination is being stinted in a lot of ways.
L: Like how?
C: Well, like no more art classes. Cutting down music classes. The way that we learn… Arts Umbrella for example, has a different way of teaching, and introducing kids to things that they wouldn’t get normally introduced to until university. I think that you should start those things when you’re 5 or 6 or 7. You start talking about quantum physics. You don’t go “Well, you know, quantum physics is this multidimensional field of bla bla bla…” No. You go “Do you see me? Yeah, you see me. Here’s a mirror. You see yourself. What do you think about that? Do you think that your reflection could exist anywhere else? No. Because you don’t see it. But why do you think that?” You can break it down in different ways. You can talk about ideas that are concurrent with today’s thinking. Most schools still define family as mom, dad, kid. What about two dads? Or two moms? The definition of family over the last 20-25 years has totally been radicalized and changed. There are different ways in which education and institution can be changed as well. And I don’t have the answers. I don’t know. But I would definitely start looking at those things.
L: Do you think it’s already starting to be standardized? Just with people trying to be politically correct…
C: Put ‘em through the factory, spit ‘em out?
L: Even the “lesbian mommies” you already can’t really talk about or debate things out of fear to be politically incorrect or offensive…
C: There are a lot of things that are touchy. I mean, I learned how to ride a bike like this: my dad put me on a BMX and pushed me into a chain-link fence. I skinned my knees and there was no such thing as mandatory helmet wear. I believe in that world. Things have become too safe, too correct, but maybe it’s necessary in order to get to another place that we need to go.
In my mind I think the fascist policing of things has become a little too ridiculous, but that’s because I come from a different era. Every generation talks about how “In my day…” and maybe I’m getting to a point now where I’m getting older and thinking that way. That’s just cliche in a sense.

PART VIII: SPLEENTELLIGENCE
L: What if you moved to Thailand?
C: I’d be a beautiful lady boy.
L: You woudn’t be a creepy North American man?
C: No, I would make the best crepes in town.
L: As a lady boy?
C: Oh, yeah.
L: Would you wear nurse hats?
C: I’d wear suspenders.
L: What if you were Emily Carr living in Thailand?
C: I’d probably…
L: 10,000 years ago.
C: I’d probably do a lot of paintings.

(pause from both of us)

C: You know, I don’t really know the answers to anything in life. The only thing I know is that I like to eat every day. I gotta piss, I gotta shit, I like fucking. A lot. And I love going in my circle of mediums and sharing. That’s about all I really know. I love my mom and dad.
L: How do you know?
C: I always have. They’re super cool. There are certain things you do know, and I don’t have a lot of them.
L: But can anyone know more than that, do you think?
C: Oh, yeah. I think there’s a lot of people. I mean some people that I read, I think they have really interesting opinions and perceptions on life and death. Joseph Campbell for example is a huge influence… His research over his lifetime…
L: What did Campbell research?
C: “Why are we here and what does it mean?” He basically studied every religion, every mythology, every story out there. His whole life. Buddhism, first nations, Koran, Celtic, Northern, Arctic…as much as he could. And what he realized through a lifetime of research, was that all of these stories are very similar, they all have very similar content. “What is life about?”  “What is humanity?” “Why are we here?” And my most favourite thing that he says is “follow your bliss.” That’s it. That’s all you need to know. And maybe when I was talking about how I love being spontaneous in the studio, and taking the bacon fat from my frying pan from cooking bacon and putting it in the eggshell from the egg that I just made and then putting a piece of a dandelion in it and watching it grow, I mean that’s…
L: Did it grow?
C: It’s collecting dust, not growing in the sense of how a tree grows…
L: In mass? Or not mass, volume?
C: The stalk is soaking up grease fat… That’s following my bliss. Just like being in my dad’s garage. I don’t know what any of these tools are specifically used for. I don’t know what you’re supposed to use a vice for, when I’m 2 years old. I don’t know what a drill press or a saw is for. Or a washer… These are foreign when you’re a few years old, so you just start putting them together, in a way that you don’t know. You’re not even thinking, you’re just creating. I don’t think that’s ever changed for me.
L: Not at all?
C: No. Some people look at a napkin, and they go “that’s what I wipe my face with.” I think it can be anything depending on the day. It could be something else, right? And I think that’s a fun way to make the mundane extraordinary.

PART IX: RECYCLING
L: I am curious on what you have to say on Jesus and perhaps on religion, based on your research…
C: Well, I still don’t know what I think or believe, but I feel that there are a lot of old stories out there to help us. I love how traditional First Nations tribes would pass on knowledge, by passing on the stories that would have lessons or morals. I think that’s why a lot of storytelling is there. Storytelling throughout the ages has been really important and whether it’s Jesus Christ, Buddha, Salim, Mohab, Mohammad, these are basically about the same thing in a lot of ways, and it’s about what you relate to. Some people like pink and some people like blue. So now you’ve got Jesus, and now you’ve got Mohammad. They’re all very very similar.
It’s about compassion, it’s about life, about being in tune with nature, which I think our civilization has lost touch with. Being in touch with the cosmos and your intuition and just living however you want to live without harming your neighbour. You can mess with your neighbour. But I don’t think you should ever push anything on anyone, like “You should come to the church, and if you’re not a Christian you’ll go to hell!!!” I think that some of these ideas are very ridiculous, especially when you look at nature and how it operates. I don’t think that we’re so separate from it…than a tree, a snail, a dolphin, a raindrop falling on flower petals. Somehow the human is maybe a little different, but I think we’re using that difference in a way that’s not in tune with how the rest of things are tuned up with the Earth.

FLOATING
And we’re moving farther and farther away. Maybe that’s coming full circle, and getting closer to being symbiotic with this planet. ‘Cause right now, we’re beating the shit out of it. We’re becoming overpopulated. I think there has to be a change. And whether you believe in Jesus or whatever it is that works for you, if in your mind you are positive and happy you will emanate that vibration, and if enough people, if the collective consciousness is sick, then the world will be sick. If the collective consciousness is mostly happy, then we’ll probably be happy. I kind of believe in that stuff. I kind of believe that we are sending out constant vibrations, and that we are all part of some dynamic. I don’t care what it is called. I believe that all of it is related to everyone’s own understanding. And it’s all of that, which makes up the one truth. And the one truth is that there is no truth.

THICK AIR
The truth is that it’s “all.” Our perception is “reality.” Our reality is truth and there’s an infinite number of them that are all unique and so how can we deny anyone’s response or opinion? Even though some of them might be twisted and dark. There’s some that are way too… Like Ned Flanders. He’s way too pansy boy for me. But I still respect his way of life.
L: Do you respect Obama and his bush? Those ways of life…
C: Yes.
L: Is it hard to respect it?
C: I have to respect it because I have to respect everything.
L: So do you kind of respect and criticize simultaneously?
C: Well, I’m not a fan of the Ku Klux Klan, I’m not a fan of racism. I’m not a fan of killing or torturing innocent life at all. And there’s gray areas. I’m not a fan of child murders. These are things that I think are pretty fucked up, but I think that these things happen…

THE MOMENTARY BOUNCE
C:The world is so complex, I don’t know why the spider decides to spin a web in the north west corner of my window and not the south east and I bet you it doesn’t know. It just is. It just does. And we can judge it, and reflect “That is a child murderer, that is wrong”, but it’s a part of life. There it is, a part of life. So how can we deny its nature? If you tried to control every single impulse, everything that happens and make a utopia…I don’t think there can be a utopia, because there are too many gray areas. Most people say smoking tobacco is like child murdering. No more smoking in the world!! Then we go: “Okay no more smoking.” Then we go… “No more salt.”
L: Always finding something else…
C: “No more making puppy dogs learn back-flips.”

TRUTH
C: You can’t really say yes or no to a lot stuff. Once you start saying yes or no to things, you end up right back where you started. So do I dig the child murdering? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. But, there it is.  It’s been happening since humans have been humans. Some used to be sacrifice and ritual, ‘cause it “stopped the volcano.” This is nothing new, but we always seem to ask why. And I think that is a healthy thing. There it is, happening, and I have my opinion, but I’m not about to be a fascist dictator and say you can or can’t do things. But the child murdering, I don’t know. It’s tough. It’s a really tough area. There’s so much gray.
L: Do you think that there is any way to create absolute justice?
C: I think that you have to be your…You have to shine as much light as you can in your lifetime and be a beacon of energy that is constant and beautiful. And yeah, it’s gonna be dark sometimes, but sometimes that’s good. Sometimes you need a villain to kick your ass, so you can go “it’s gonna get better.” Sometimes you need that conflict to rise up to the challenge. Conflict is good sometimes. Who would Batman be without Joker? Who would Superman be without all his guys?
L: Whoever that “guy” was?
C: The yin yang, the light and dark, it’s how it’s gotta be. But I think that the world could be more in tune with how the two can co-exist in harmony rather than it being dark and light, or black and white all the time.
L: Is that possible? From our history…
C: The earth does it. The sun goes into the moon and back into the sun every day, without things…There’s lighting, there’s clouds, there’s rain. But these things are all symbiotic with each other, so why the fuck can’t our minds which some humans claim to be “more powerful than any other creature’s in the world,” do the same? I’m not saying that we can eliminate dark, but…
L: Are we maybe stupider than we think? Are we more basic and we just come up with stories?
C: We’re the only thing that is not symbiotic with the earth in a way. Every other thing learns how to co-inhabit its surroundings and we just deplete everything, murder everything, rape every resource: we are not “natural.”
L: Are we a parasite?
C: A virus? Maybe. We could be.
L: Is that why we try to stay so clean and kill? We’re self conscious?
C: Maybe.

PART X: FOOTSTEPS IN THE GRASS.
C: I believe that Jesus, the mythological character, was pretty fuckin’ cool. I think it was the church that ultimately desecrated the things he stood for as a person.
L: Do you think that he was better than Emily Carr?
C: Jesus? Yeah.
L: Yeah?
C: He was selfless and got his message out to more people than I think Emily Carr did.
L: If Jesus had did Internet…
C: …what would he google?
L: What would Jesus google?
C: He’d probably be into she-males.
L: From Thailand or Canada?
C: Doesn’t matter.
L: Immigrants to Canada?
C: He’d like to watch.
(We burst out laughing and forever ruin my bliss of a notebook with food)
L: Yeah, I think I’m gonna stop the thing….

PART XI: THANK YOU.

Now, Skewed readers, since Christmas has just passed, you tell us too, what would Jesus google? We bet Christian’s work will not be excluded by the all mighty:
www.christiannicolay.blogspot.com and www.nicolayhome.blogspot.com

Bon voyage to all of you!!!

|skewed|

Interview and Photography by Lexa Naicu

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